I drank again. It was tuesday after lunch with a friend and still had some liquor left over. but I came home and dumped it. I want to be sober. This last time, i didn't feel the same rush drinking. I got flushed and that sick filling of drinking, the anxiety and shakes. Drinking is just killing me and I need to stay away. I've stayed away from the pot, which i only started to stop the drinking, thinking it was better. but any substance is not good for me. I have to be clear headed right now. I'm keeping busy with going to meetings, and it felt good to be busy today and focused. now only if this feeling can stay. group really helped me get some perspective this time. One day at a time and today I didnt drink. tomorrow is my goal to stay sober and honest.
Can't write too much, the microwave justed beeped and my lunch is awaiting. I ventured out to find some bipolar blogs. I need to find out how others become successful while being bipolar. My biggest criticisms at work have to deal with things I cannot control, I try and it works most of the time, but its tiring. Its very tiring to watch everything I'm doing and reassess it but all the while I'm multitasking. did I mentioned that this is unedited? I don't prethink what i'm going to write or when i write, just that I'm writing, unedited and unsensored. At least try. I'm high right now. People might not understand the need for marijuana. I first started smoking marijuana to help curb my alcohol cravings. Alcohol was killing me, literally. So I switched to POT which isn't killing me as fast as Alcohol (theres potential lung cancer). Now, it is my vice. I know I need to find something else, and I'm hoping its going to come soon. TIme to eat. hungry.
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