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its been awhile

I was so depressed, I posted something on my facebook how hopeless life was. I took a couple darvocets and next thing I know I have my cousin pounding on my door and as I opened the door, police/paramedics came around the corner. Then I'm in the emergency room being monitored for 8 hours or so, then taken to a mental hospital. I was there 7 days and since I've been out, I have been going to outpatient. I met someone there that I truly like, so much it scares me.

Why is it I want what I can't have? I'm never happy completely with what I have but always want something else. My husband is dear to me and is the nicest man that I could ever dream up, but theres something missing and I don't know what. I also don't know if I can help it. Going for a long walk to think and possibly make mistakes. I almost pride myself on the mistakes, because without them, I don't feel as if I'm living. I like to live by my own rules and the world just gets in the way.

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