okay, so I smoked the last pot I'm going to smoke. But found a can of sparks. not suppose to be drinking either. but i have been wanting to. had a relaspse on monday. and was sent to the hospital two and half weeks ago. was depressed. cry for help. that sort of thing. people have it so much worse than me but yet i'm so miserable. the thing is, that so many people have it better than me is what gets me down. I'm goign to be in trouble when hubby gets home. I'm already starting to get tipsy.
Can't write too much, the microwave justed beeped and my lunch is awaiting. I ventured out to find some bipolar blogs. I need to find out how others become successful while being bipolar. My biggest criticisms at work have to deal with things I cannot control, I try and it works most of the time, but its tiring. Its very tiring to watch everything I'm doing and reassess it but all the while I'm multitasking. did I mentioned that this is unedited? I don't prethink what i'm going to write or when i write, just that I'm writing, unedited and unsensored. At least try. I'm high right now. People might not understand the need for marijuana. I first started smoking marijuana to help curb my alcohol cravings. Alcohol was killing me, literally. So I switched to POT which isn't killing me as fast as Alcohol (theres potential lung cancer). Now, it is my vice. I know I need to find something else, and I'm hoping its going to come soon. TIme to eat. hungry.
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