Skip to main content

up and down

today is mostly up... i feel like i'm on crack!! I have moments where I'm shaking like i'm on too much caffine. Maybe it was the coffee I drank? I drink espresso, and all I had was one cup of regular coffee and i was so jittery! I guess thats the next thing I need to refrain from. No caffine, unless i'm in the depressed mode. but yet that switches on and off.

I find myself crying while watching tv and thinking. It could be a commercial that just makes me sad or my thoughts running wild. Now that I know this about myself, how do I explain this to someone. I'm very erratic at times and by the time I recognize it I think the damage is done, I've tarnished my image. People think I'm weird and its just me trying to be normal.

busy day. home sweaty now. have therapy tonight and not sure what I will focus on.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lunch awaiting

Can't write too much, the microwave justed beeped and my lunch is awaiting. I ventured out to find some bipolar blogs. I need to find out how others become successful while being bipolar. My biggest criticisms at work have to deal with things I cannot control, I try and it works most of the time, but its tiring. Its very tiring to watch everything I'm doing and reassess it but all the while I'm multitasking. did I mentioned that this is unedited? I don't prethink what i'm going to write or when i write, just that I'm writing, unedited and unsensored. At least try. I'm high right now. People might not understand the need for marijuana. I first started smoking marijuana to help curb my alcohol cravings. Alcohol was killing me, literally. So I switched to POT which isn't killing me as fast as Alcohol (theres potential lung cancer). Now, it is my vice. I know I need to find something else, and I'm hoping its going to come soon. TIme to eat. hungry.
Post a Comment
Read more

The journey begins

I'm starting this blog to keep my sanity and give me purpose. I'm falling down the rabbit hole and I wasn't even following the rabbit! Or was I? ... da... da..... dahhhhh. Its been awhile since I wrote down anything personal longer than an email to someone. I use to have an online diary, but thats gone now, literally. I haven't been to it and apparently the site is now gone. wait. EUREKA, i just realized that I used the wrong web address. and return I must with an embarrassing mistake. It must really be gone. :( Tomorrow is my therapist appointment and I started writing things down on a pad this morning since I was high and you know when you smoke pot all your ideas seem great. The other problem with potdeas are you don't remember all of them. Or at least I don't. Anyways, I'm writing down my ideas and thoughts so I can express my anguish of thinking all the things that go through my head and also to keep track of all those good ideas. I think when the pot ...
Post a Comment
Read more